Thoughts You’ll Have While Skydiving

Skydiving is an intensely physical experience, that’s for sure. When you make that first skydive, you’ll see. Your body will be bombarded with sensations so utterly unfamiliar and exhilarating that they’re not only beyond what you imagine; they’re beyond what you likely can imagine.

Listen up, dear reader: That ain’t the half of it. It’s not just your body that’s going to get a wild ride. It’s your mind, too! To give you an idea, here’s what you can reckon will be pouring through your never-more-woke brain at every step of the tandem skydiving process. Enjoy!

Okay–I just arrived at the dropzone and I’m about to walk in the door. Legs! Walk through the door. WALK THROUGH THE DOOR. THERE you go.

Man, this is a long waiver.

Does this waiver ever end?

What is up with this guy’s beard? That thing is epic.

I don’t think I’ve heard the word “arch” used so much in one conversation.

I can’t stop staring at the manifest screen. 20 minutes…19 minutes…18 minutes…still 18 minutes…17 minutes…

These seatbelt things are all there is? Dooooooood. I won’t even be able to see the clips ’cause they’ll be behind me.

I’ve never been in a plane this adorable before. And where is the door?!

Wow, Long Island is gorgeous. And New York City is gorgeous. And the sky is gorgeous. And the ocean is gorgeous. And the state and the country and the region and the WORLD are so gorgeous I can’t even TAKE IT with this gorgeousness.

Ohmygosh. That guy in front of me just fell out of the plane. That must mean…omigod…I’m next.

Remember what you’re supposed to do remember what you’re supposed to do remember what you’re supposed to do

So this is 120mph. My stomach isn’t even dropping. Why doesn’t it feel like I’m falling?!

Cheese!

I’ve never seen the world like this before. It looks like a big flat ant farm.

Is it parachute time yet?

How about now?

How about now?

Parachute time!

Bye bye camera guy!

Wow. This is incredibly peaceful. It’s so quiet that I can hear the wind whistling in the parchute lines.

Okay, there’s the landing area! Time to come down. Do we have to land? I kind of want to stay up here.

Okay fine, gravity. Whatever.

Legs up legs up legs up legs up

Can I go again?